A rant about mouseguns, pocket pistols, and anecdotal endorsements of objectively shitty concealed carry choices (with small bonus rambling about women's self-defense)

There are two extremes in the concealed carry debate. On the one hand, are the people who insist anything less than .40 is a pathetic pop gun. The arguments of these people have already been thoroughly debunked, and I think most people now agree that this is a silly position to hold.

However, in the pushback against that particular brand of nonsense, I see a lot of people flocking all the way clear across to the OTHER extreme, and spouting their own, albiet contrary, brand of nonsense. These people will use the same sort of anecdotal fuddisms, but spun the opposite way, in a pathetic attempt to justify a pathetic choice for concealed carry.

Here are a few:

"Nobody volunteered to get shot with it."
Yeah, well, I ain't volunteering to get shot with a BB gun either. Hell, I'm not even gonna volunteer to be hit with a Nerf gun if it's in the eye. Does that mean 'Nerf gun, aim for the eye' is a good self defense plan?

"The .22/.25 in your pocket is better than the .45 at home."
And so is a box cutter. And so are steel-toed boots. And so are your fists. And so is standing up straight to look less like a soft target. Yes, *something* , beats *nothing*, shocking how that works. The single pair in your hand is better than the straight flush in the deck, but are you gonna put your life savings on it?

".22lr has killed more people than any other round."
No. The projectile that has killed the most people is either a rock, spear, or arrow. Even if this were true, the point of a self-defense firearm is to STOP the attacker. Killing them is an unfortunate side effect. Somebody dying in the ER three days after being shot with a .22 counts as a .22 death, but that doesn't help you in the moment. It is a verifiable fact that the mousegun cartridges are notably worse at stopping than their bigger brothers.

"I can't carry anything bigger."
A Glock 42/43 or S&W Shield/EZ is thinner, conceals better, is more shootable, and is more reliable both in cycling and in actually stopping a threat than any of the dinky mouseguns.

".22lr will get in there and bounce around, doing insane damage."
Watch literally any video of somebody shooting a .22 into ballistics gel, of which there are hundreds if not thousands. The only bouncing I see is fuddlore spouters bouncing on .22 caliber dick. Bullets sometimes do weird shit inside living tissue, yes, but a .22lr is no more or less likely to do any sort of gymnastics than any other cartridge. Anything of the sort is basically random, rare, extremely circumstantial, and certainly not something you can reliably replicate or depend upon.

STOP JUSTIFYING SHITTY AND LAZY CARRY CHOICES.

You can do better.

My two most hated guns of all are the NAA mini revolver, and the LifeCard .22. I believe they're actually worse than having no gun, because they grant the carrier a false sense of security. They're not even good plinkers, because of their agonizingly slow fire rates pitiful reload times, heinous ergonomics, and lack of adequate sights. They're nothing but gimmicks marketed at people who don't know any better. You're better served with pepper spray, brass knuckles, or a stun gun (as long as it's not one of the garbage cheapo ones you see on TikTok).

Yeah, yeah, a bunch of people have some bullshit story about how their cousin's boss's plumber stopped a Shambler with a single shot from his NAA, or how their best friend's great aunt dropped a Deathclaw with a doubletap from her trusty Jennings .25... and then everyone clapped.

Seriously now, I am not a gear whore operator bro that thinks everyone needs a double-stack .45 with an optic, laser, and two spare mags. I certainly don't lug all that shit around. I don't think capacity is a critical issue, I don't think caliber is the only thing that counts, and I don't think you need the most expensive high-end shit you can get. I don't care what people carry... With one caveat: a little common sense goes a long way. A reliable semi-automatic pistol, or double action revolver, chambered in something that starts with a .3 at least, is not too much to ask. Don't pick a gun just because it's "better than a pointy stick". And for fucks sake, put it in a proper holster somewhere on your actual body, because if someone attacks you, that purse (or European men's carry all) is the first thing they are grabbing. This applies to pepper spray also.

Shut the fuck up with bullshit feelgoodisms and fuddlore, and stop justifying lazy, bottom-tier tools when it comes to safety equipment. Small game cartridges are just that: meant for small game. Yes, with proper shot placement, they *can* kill people, but so can a blowdart. Again, the goal is stopping the threat, and the keychain guns are objectively worse at that than any of the more serious options.


Now, on a more productive note, if you are reading this and looking to pick up your first concealed carry pistol, and are feeling overwhelmed, here is the fastest, most reliable, idiot proof path to something you can bet your life on:

Congratulations, you are now more prepared than 90% of gun enthusiasts. Seriously. A little disciplined practice will do you a million times more good than any amount of peepee tugging over gun selection, ammo selection, accessory selection, etc.

"Bu-bu-buh Glocks suck! Why would you recommend a gLoCk?"

Shut the fuck up. They're boring. That's a good thing. You hate them because you want to be special. You aren't special. Be boring. Get a Glock. Or anything other than mousegun. (Or anything other than a fucking Sig, at least. Who really needs TWO femoral articles AND two testicles, anyway?)


Seem like too much work? Are you a lazy piece of shit that can't be bothered to ever go to the range? Here's my other option:

You're done. That revolver can sit there for 30+ years unattended and will still go bang if you hear a window break at 2AM. And if it doesn't, pull the trigger again.

There, you've successfully achieved the laziest, most incompetent form of gun ownership that at the very least doesn't make you a danger to yourself and everyone around you.


My point from all that babbling is this: There are better options, you don't have to settle for a .22/.25 pocket rocket. You can and should put more effort into a tool that could save your life.

Also, for fuck's sake, guys, STOP recommending shitty tiny guns to your wives, daughters, and mistresses. Smaller guns are HARDER to shoot, not easier. Less mass on a gun = more felt recoil. Seeing men behind the gun counter try to talk women into itty bitty (often colorful) toy guns makes my blood boil.

Gals, you know it: size matters. Airweight Smiths, Rugers, and microcompact plastic fantastics might look cute and be easy to hold at the store, but you are going to have a hell of a bad time trying to keep them on target at the range.

Don't be afraid to ditch that cute low-cut top and those skin-tight jeans that make your ass look good, in order to dress around a more appropriate self-defense tool. I can gawk at women's bodies on the internet; I don't care how hot you dress, I care that you're using a weapon system that will keep you alive.

While you're at it, again, avoid anything sold on TikTok. It's all trash. Those kitty knuckles, flimsy stun guns that feel like and are made from the same plastic used in a Windex bottle (professional zappers from reputable brands are acceptable), and keychain noisemakers will do NOTHING except piss off your attacker. Honestly, the state of affairs for women's self-defense is abysmal. So, so many trash products, terrible advice, and things that a determined attacker will simply laugh at. I get it: guns aren't for everyone. If you don't want/can't get a gun, find something that does work for you and carry it securely. I've carried only pepper spray with no firearm in non-permissive environments, but I kept it on my belt, strong side, so it was easy and quick to deploy. I've done the same thing with knives. Common sense and a little practice goes a long, long way.

Women's self-defense is no different from men's. Carry whatever you can, securely, in a way that ensures quick draw time, and dress around it. Practice, practice, practice. Run through uncomfortable scenarios and ask yourself what you'd really do, and how.

No matter who you are: carry smart, and carry strong. Your life matters and you deserve something above the bare minimum.

Back to rants

Back to home